How much men hate women

February 2, 2008

Feminism by Kendra Urdang. (Via NOLA radfem.)

Watch the video, read the comments (NOTE: comments could be TRIGGERING).

This is for you by Chico Speaks Out Team

Watch the video read the comments. Notice the difference? (Not between the poetry, although Kendra’s is more powerful I think, but between the comments.)


  1. This is fairly typical of men’s reaction to women daring to say their truths in coherent and beautiful way.
    How dare women complain, they should be grateful that they to small space to speak out. But we won’t listen.
    That seem to be the refrain of these pathetic men.
    I used to do performance poetry, but found most audiences are not willing to hear poetry that express the reality of being a woman. But, if men write about their sexist views in “left-wing” style, that is lapped up.
    Now, I am more fussy about my audience.

  2. The very first comment is rich!

    “I’m not about to try and dis what you just said.
    I’m a 22 year old white guy. Its hard for me to respect women. Other than family, the girls I grew around where very disrespectful to me. They where users. Its hard to defend feminism when females have caused so much anguish in my life. I respect only those people who respect me.”

    I guess no one ever taught old boy about “earning respect,” that concept men have thrown at women when women’s authority is abused in the workplace, their literature criticised, etc.

    What this 22 year old is basically saying: Women have not service me, so they are worthless, until they service me, they are horrible humans. Even though there are countless men in the world who have not “serviced” him in some way, I’m quite sure he respects them until they do something no longer worthy of his respect.

  3. Rebecca: I would love to hear your poetry. I’ve been searching through youtube looking for feminist perfomance poetry and most of it is just amazing. We don’t have poetry slams or anything similar in Australia. The best you get is poetry in the pub which is just stupid masculinist men who write shit.

    Kitty: I found the comments just so over the top and ridiculously misogynist. I just thought it was really interesting that the male feminist poets were not attacked in the same way. One commenter even calls for Kendra to be put into a straight jacket!!!

  4. Yeah. It’s really hard not to feed the trolls on the thread on Kendra’s poem, especially since I love that poem so much. I hadn’t seen the Chico Speaks Out Team poem before. It’s good, but I’m a little bothered by the assertion that the poem is “all they can do.” I know, rhetorical device, but still, there’s a lot more they can do. And I’m really bothered by the commenters who say things like “I never really liked feminism much before, but you guys have opened my mind.” Has our culture so totally devalued women that only men can tell us about feminism and be heard? Wait, I know the answer to that. Blast.

  5. Hey JadeWolf, thanks for commenting.

    Yes, unfortunately when a woman speaks out against male violence both men and women think she is crazy, and has personal issues and needs therapy. When a man does the same thing both men and women think he is deep, thoughtful and insightful.

    It’s good, but I’m a little bothered by the assertion that the poem is “all they can do.”

    I actually agree. As I said, I think Kendra’s poem is more powerful but included the other as a measure of how women’s words mean next to nothing whereas men’s words are happily endorsed.

  6. Thanks for posting those videos, Allecto. Very interesting!

    Gosh, it makes me sick how much most people deny that sexism or misogyny is widespread while it’s in fact the norm in this society!

  7. You know I routinely post a comment of support and pro-feminism on that video of Kendra doing spoken word. I think the comments the men make about women more accurately describe men, interestingly…

  8. My username is “rychousmama”

  9. I think the comments the men make about women more accurately describe men, interestingly…

    Ha! so very, very true.

  10. I think this is a pattern–men get patted on the back by women and sometimes by men for saying feminist things, sometimes OBVIOUS things about inequality, but when a woman says the same damn things, she’s a “crazy bitch” who “needs a good dicking to set her right.”

    also, don’tcha just love how women are divided into “good” feminist (likes men, doesn’t challenge their behaviour) and “bad” feminist (aka “stupid cunt,” thinks men need to and can change be better). or even “humanist” and “feminazi”

    reminds me of a james baldwin quote: “The world’s definitions are one thing and the life one actually lives is quite another. One cannot allow oneself, nor one’s family, friends, or lovers – to say nothing of one’s children – to live according to the world’s definitions: one must find a way, perpetually, to be stronger and better than that.”

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